Wolverine Bobblehead Universal Studios Florida

Wolvie’s Barbershop Now Open

We all know who Wolverine is — He’s that popular mutant from X-Men with adamantium claws. Razor sharp claws that easily can rip through must anything.

And yet, it makes me wonder, has Wolvie ever used his claws to give people haircuts?

And I’m talking more like a proper haircut. You know with his three claws, it’s like a Gillette Mach3 razor. The first blade lifts the hair, the second one cuts the hair. And finally, the third blade takes a little skin off the top.

I know Professor X has a real reason with having a bald head, but it still makes me wonder if there’s an uncut scene of Wolverine setting up a mock barbershop and giving ol’ Prof a little off the top.

Pete Holmes explores some aspect of the X-Men world with a Professor X hiring/firing habits in his various skits from his now-defunct talk show. Here are some that I liked. One deals with Wolverine and his usefulness to the team…especially taking into mind how their main adversary manipulates metal and Wolverine’s skeleton is covered in metal.

Full Playlist of Pete Holme’s “Ex-Men”

white_people

Oh. White people.

This video has been going  around and I like it. I’m Chinese and it reminds me of basically most of my childhood life and how I have been asked similar questions.

I remember a while back, while I was in a carpool with a friend on our way to work one day.  We always passed by this church that had a giant cross on top of it and at night that cross was lit up.  One day, I turned to my Caucasian friend and asked an honest question:

“Why do white people burn crosses?”

Of course, he was a bit taken aback from the question.  I knew he wasn’t part of the KKK or even from the south, but I still figured maybe white people just know about all white people activities. Much like, many people have asked me about China, even though I was born here in America and have never gone to China ever.

“Does everyone in China know kung fu?”

“How come every time you eat Chinese food, you get hungry again after an hour?”

“In Karate Kid, why do they call him ‘Daniel-san’? I mean is he like the son of Daniel?”

But I know it’s not good to generalize or stereotype people. Yet, I find myself doing it for humour’s sake at times.

 

rings

Love is Blind — Marriage is the Eye Opener

I got married. It’s almost a whole year of being married. It’s an interesting journey and I love my wife. For the wedding, I was planning on saying some elaborate thank you speech. However, with all the hustle and bustle of planning the wedding, I forgot about it.

Still, I wrote a couple of potential speeches. The following is partly from before the wedding, but now I edited a bit.

It all starts with a quote.

Love is blind — marriage is the eye-opener.
— Pauline Thomason

Who is Pauline Thomason? I dont know.

Regardless, it’s true.

A common phrase is “Love is blind” and well, marriage is an eye opener. What you saw before is almost the same, but you get even more. If you don’t live together, now you can see how the other person lives; and that’s an eye opener. From a guy’s perspective, you see hair that isn’t yours on the ground or in the shower — new weird devices used for crimping hair, or curling it are now randomly placed across the bathroom counter. All I knew was just the hair dryer and a comb, maybe a hair clip, but all these other things? How peculiar. And then there’s that cylindrical Polly-O string cheese looking shape thing that is in a paper wrapper (Note, it’s not string cheese at all).

But that’s just the surface of it all. It’s just me being silly. What will happen is that your eyes will open and you’ll see the person you love in new eyes. This isn’t just your “significant other” anymore… it’s your life mate. It’s the person that will feed you soup when you’re ill [or maybe cook you (instant) ramen if that’s your healing source of choice]. The one to hold your hand at a family’s funeral. The one who will hug you at the end of a bad day…or even on a good day or an average day. This is the person you not only still love, but you’re married to (for life).

They’ll be bad times, this is just known as that is just the way of life at times — Ups and downs, like a roller coaster.  But keep your eyes open, so you can see the person who is next to you, who stands with you in spite of tough times. Keep your eyes open and see who’s hand you’re holding. Keep your eyes open to see the one you love looking back at you.  Love can be blind, but marriage is the eye opener.

Technically, as a thank you speech, it doesn’t quite work since I didn’t quite include a “thank you” part. It was really just my thoughts on marriage and what it means to me. And now that I have some experience as a married person, I have to say, I like it. I love coming home to my wife. I love sleeping next to her and waking up to her.

I’m happy.

asian kid eating rice

Asian Stigmas or How Jeremy Lin Could Help Break It All

Asian Stigmas.

Asian people aren’t known for their athleticism outside of ping pong and maybe girls gymnastics.

And then there was Jeremy Lin of the New York Knicks.  “Linsanity” as it was dubbed at the height of his popularity.  He was gonna change it all. He showed the world, that Asian people can ball.

And perhaps, as if to just cement the new age of Asians in sports, Jeremy Lin might have big balls.  And one day, while going up for a layup or a dunk, somehow his penis would fall out of his shorts and slap a taller black player in the face.  It’d be like saying “ka-pow! … There’s a new sheriff in town. And he isn’t squinting from the sun, it’s cause he’s Asian.”

But with his knee surgery, who knows if Jeremy Lin will come back to basketball fame. This writer can only hope, so he has an Asian American idol.  Lord knows that William Hung isn’t much of an idol to strive for, even though he has dreams.