han solo looks like he's holding air boobs.

Man thoughts – Conversations – Girlfriends and Food

scenario: Kitchen – office setting.

man 1 enters and pulls a tofu sandwich out of his lunch bag. Sees friend (man 2).

man2: “Hey, man. I didn’t know you’re a vegetarian.”

man1 “Oh. This. Nah, I’m not. You see my girlfriend is a vegetarian, so she made me this.”

man2 “That’s cool of her to do that.”

man 1 “Yea. She doesn’t eat meat, like chicken, pork, or beef. She even cut out eggs and whole milk. Me. On the other hand, I like to eat anything, well, except vagina of course. Man’s gotta have his limits.”

man2 “…”

han solo looks like he's holding air boobs.


5 Foot 10 Inch Man Eating Chicken

…Do you remember as a kid going to a public pool for the first or second time. You’d splash in the water and try to swim and you sometimes take a gulp of the water by mistake. And for a moment, it’s different – it’s like tasty and you almost kind of like it. On a hot summer day, it seems refreshing. But, then, as you grow older or wiser, you realize… that pool water is just full of bacteria and chlorine and pee pee and all sorts of nasty stuff that you don’t want to swallow, cause it’s killing ya.

Well, I kinda relate that to sweet and sour sauces from fast food places like McDonalds or Wendy’s. And it’s like I dip the chicken nugget in the sauce and I eat it. And at first you have that “oooh” enjoyable sweet and sour taste. Then, you swallow, you realize that that shit is full of preservatives and chemicals and all sorts of nasty stuff that you don’t want to swallow, cause its killing ya.

So that’s my thought.

And yet, its like a shampoo directions, 1. Wash. 2. Rinse. 3. Repeat. and the cycle continues.



I had a humanity rocks moment. (it’s where you do something that humanity has done/created i guess. read on to understand > )

I was eating chicken nuggets from Wendy’s, and I dropped half of a nugget in the sweet and sour sauce. I was like damn. I could have been medieval and just grabbed that shit and gotten some sweet and sour on my fingers. But I didn’t want to do that, cause then I’d have to get up and go wash my hands. So I was like HUMAN MOMENT!

MAN invents TOOLS!

And I took two crispy fried fries and fabricated some chopsticks to take it out! well. It was more of a lever action to get it out.



Chik-Fil-A advertising is kinda morbid if you think about it. It’s usually just Cows holding up signs, that say “Eat More Chikn” or something of that nature. But it’s COWS who don’t want to be eaten telling you to eat another animal! It’s like they have feelings like us humans. It’s like the great Homer Simpson once said, “What? You can’t kill him if he’s wearing people clothes!”



I remember seeing a booth at the South Florida fair with a the sign that said, “6 Foot Man Eating Chicken.” And it had a picture of a huge chicken. After you pay one dollar, you go inside the booth and see a 6 foot man eating a bucket of chicken. It was just a sentence, but the way it was advertised, it makes you think there’s a huge 6 foot tall chicken, who eats humans. It’s all how you present an idea.