today, my mechanic informed me, ‘you have too much junk in your trunk”.
and with a raise eyebrow, i put down my bagel.
Setting: Tower Records
1 Male, 18-22yrs old, store clerk
1 Male, mid-20s, customer purchasing music CDs.
Customer, “oh, hi. i noticed that this CD was listed as 11.99 on the website. but it’s 16.99 here.”
Clerk, “uh huh. well, why didnt you buy it online?”
Cust, “oh, because i wanted to get it now, instead of waiting for it to be delivered.”
Clerk,”oh ok. well, in that case, thats a “now” charge.”
Cust, “what? thats crazy.”
Clerk,”yea, well you’re crazy.”, points finger.
Cust,[confused look], “you must hate your job.”
Clerk,”of course! except for moments like these.”
so that didn’t happen, but the thought occurred…in my head. even though i’d be the customer and the clerk would be the clerk. but it just amuses me, like my other made up one about teh supermarket. here it is again! cause it makes me laugh cause its more raw than the above one.
setting: supermarket – the rice and pasta aisle.
1 caucasian male shopper, 30-40 yrs old, curiously confused.
1 chinese male shopper, early 20s, easily disgruntled.
caucasian male, “Excuse me, can you help me?”
asian male, “um. sure, what do you need?”
cm, “I’m looking at all these rices here, and what do you suggest is a good type of rice grain?”
am, “you’re looking at the rices and you’re asking me whats the best one?…”
cm,”Yes” (blink blink)
am, “its jasmine, its good.”
cm,”Thanks. I could tell you know whats a good type of rice.”
am, “… ok. now that i helped you, maybe you can help me.”
am, “heres a picture of my two sisters… can you suggest which one i should fuck?”
cm,”…” (runs away)
am, “hey, where are you going? what? i can’t ask you something you might know about?”
brain = imagination station, and the train has already left…