Quick Bits – Underwear

You know… it sounds silly, but I like fresh just washed and dried underwear. You know, when it’s still warm from the dryer. And then you put it on and its like such an all encompassing warmth. It’s like three warm hands are cradling you – two for your bum, and one for your crotch.

But it’s not like it’s molesting you. It’s just really supportive and comforting in some weird fashion. No?

However, then I think about the possible repercussions of putting on warm to hot underwear on. I’m a man. So, having warmth on my goods isn’t that good for my troops. So, although it is interesting and nice feeling, I often have to not do it – for the sake of my future children.


Crotchless panties. It’s so you can air out the parts up front but still have that support in the back. So, if you decide to poop, you now have a carriage.

Crotchless panties. It’s like saying, ‘Hey. This is way more functional than having a zipper or a clothe porthole.”


Quick bits…

  •  stupid thought. but its like all the people talk about like supermodels being too skinny. or that people are putting too much emphasis on that skinny is sexier or something. but i think its not about being skinny is pretty…its practicality. the skinny people use less material for designs. so it costs less to make a dress or something. no?
  • dr. scholl’s shoe things look just like the geico ones. like in the dr. scholl’s commercial uses like gels as circles and they look like eyes. while geico uses eyes on top of a money. i think its diff color, like blue vs green. but its similar and kinda makes me laugh. cause the dr. scholls commercial deals with a dude who is getting his CAR towed. ha.
  •  i was at dinner with coworkers. and i looked at a coworker that i had seen before. and i thought he had a tattoo on his forearm. but it turned out to be a lot of arm hair.
  • somehow i think if the police chief speaks with a new york-an kinda accent, no matter the state, just sounds more authorative for some reason.
  • i got this joke i sent to a friend out in missouri or whatever.
    “What’s the difference between your vagina and my dick?”
    “about 1800miles and 7inches :-p”oooooooooooooh vulgarity hahaha.
  • sometimes when you’re cleaning up your place, you might come across like an old “lost” item. and then you remember, oh its not really yours, it use to be like your friend’s, or your significant other (at the time)’s. but now its like you no longer are in touch with that person anymore, cause you moved away or they did. but then other times, you kinda realize, ‘oh yea. they’re dead. and they are never gonna come back…unless zombies come back alive, but even then, the strength required to open the coffen and the 6ft of dirt would be impossible for a deceased body of that age to be able to open up. and so, they’re still dead and gone.” and having that dialogue in your brain helps from really thinking about the death part… and just focus on the permanent ownership of the object now. that and just repeating it kinda almost makes it humourous in some manner not understandable at the moment.
  • theres that commercial with all the food icon (logos).like charlie tuna is there. the coutn chocula i think. the jolly green giant, the pickles guy, pillsbury doughboy and like that little girl off the mortons salt. and its like a mastercard thing abuot like getting everyone together… priceless.but i was thinking… of all the food icons there, charlie tuna is kinda fucked up. and to a lesser extent doughboy. charlie tuna is essentially telling people to eat tuna. and he’s a tuna. and its like if he eats it isn’t that cannibalism?

    the doughboy is bad cause he’s made of dough and so is his pastries or baked goods.

  • “Here Will, heres a shirt [hands over shirt]. i didnt know your shirt size so i got you a 2XL. i figure you’ll either grow into it…or you have the mind to shrink it in the dryer.”